it’s difficult to get time to myself to reflect. but then again reflection might be over-rated. i mean, when you really consider the value in things, sometimes you realize that maybe there isn’t anything there to be found!
i am basically living because i cannot die. so what meaning could there be in life? it’s difficult to find meaning. it’s difficult to find joy. and hope is nowhere on the radar screen.
maybe my depression isn’t getting better. maybe it’s just getting worse. my brain feels like it’s basically at an impasse. i can’t find meaning. i have no hope.