depression faith food personal

starbucks and recovery

yesterday after i voted, i got a free tall coffee drink from a neighborhood starbucks.  it felt so cool that starbucks was rewarding people for voting.  i don’t think anyone voted so that they could get a free cup of coffee (or free iced cream at ben and jerry’s i heard).  but it sure feels nice that others care that you care enough to participate in electing the next president of our country.

i was supposed to fly out to california this morning.  but all evening and all night i just kept cleaning even though my back was hurting and i was getting really hot from all the moving around.  at 2 am this mornign i finally accepted the feeling that i really wasn’t up for traveling right now.  i’ve been in partial hospital for the past 4 days, just found a therapist who i think i can work well with, and am still in the process of finding a psychiatrist to do my medicine.  i do notice everyday that something that i hadn’t noticed before is good or better.  the other day, getting out of my car and walking towards the door of my apartment building, i noticed this incredibly light feeling.  i really do thank my old psychiatrist for all the valiant effort she made to help me.  but wow, i have been feeling better and better since i told her i don’t want her to be my doctor anymore!

and so this morning, i woke up at 8:30 am without an alarm clock even though i went to sleep around 4 am.  four hours or so is definitely not enough sleep.  but still, i felt motivated to leave the house to try to get some studying done so that maybe i can finish my thesis.  and the study spot of my choice right now is starbucks that has a parking lot, ample seating and power outlets scattered around the room.  i just filled out a survey giving feed back of my visit to starbucks.  i get a free tall drink.  yeah, whatever.  i spend so much money here that one free cup of coffee doesn’t really change my finances that much.  but i do like the fact that starbucks want  to know what i think and that they are willing to hear what i think would make this starbucks a better place for me to come to.

random note:  yesterday i didn’t eat lunch or dinner.  then when i realized it, i ate at 3 am even though i wasn’t even hungry.  and i’m not hungry now even though it’s past lunch time.  i’ll probably just wait till dinner, that is, if i eat dinner tonight.  so i don’t have an appetite and am not sleeping well and not enough according to what i normally require.  maybe i’m depressed?  nah.  🙂

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