I still cry

last week I was telling a group of trusted friends that I feel a sense of loss about you E, that I miss missing you because I wasn’t crying like I did at first when I found out you died. but of course as I was saying that very statement tears welled up in my eyes and my heart crushed with pain.

E, your birthday is coming up. I just had my birthday this past week. it was weird that you weren’t there to wish me happy birthday, and on your birthday, it will be strange not to be able to wish you a happy birthday.

I still cry.

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