Categories
depression personal

anniversary

today is a hard day.  one of those days when you wish you could just get to tomorrow as soon as possible.  the past does not dictate the future.  but it sure can contaminate it! i haven’t felt suicidal in about 2 months, but still have overdosed once in the past month.  i’m not sure […]

Categories
personal

to love or hate facebook

this morning i woke up to couple of alarming phone messages and texts.   last night i was busy playing chess online with my bf.  now a days, before we start playing, i declare that i will lose this game, but let’s see how well he can do and how long i can last.  so […]

Categories
depression personal

changes, big changes

i haven’t updated in so long.  it’s hard to know where to even start.  when i don’t update for a while, i feel like there is so much to say i just don’t know where to start. the biggest news of this year is that for the first time since spring of 2002, i have […]

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depression family god personal

i’m still here: last will, burial site, funeral homes

i haven’t written a post in a long long time. i suppose things are okay. i’m still breathing. what else is new? couple weeks ago, after coming back from california, the entire week i had difficulty breathing, mainly due to anxiety i think. then on the thursday of that week, i felt so so sad […]

Categories
depression family personal

loving it!

i don’t think i was doing that great for a while.  i didn’t go out to meet people.  i only would leave my room/apartment for therapy and gym.  i stopped going to all church related events.  i was hyberhating.  i want to say i was recharing.  but i don’t think i was.  i was just […]