Categories
depression personal religion

final exit

i really think that if i died an early death that jesus would still love me. am i wrong to think so? when this life is so hard, when the pain gets unbearale, i often just want to escape: a final exit. maybe that’s why sleep is so inviting. sleeping allows me to stop life […]

Categories
family loss personal

in memory

i’m sad to say that there has been a death in our extended family.  extended family is family and the sadness is real. it’s weird being alive. i mean, really it is weird being alive. it’s so weird that the living go on living. what can we do but to go on living? the most […]

Categories
family personal

reality check

someone in my extended family is dying. it really made me sad to hear about it. his health has been failing for a while now… when you think about your loved ones and perhaps even when imagining the death of your loved ones, the imagination may fail us. what we imagine might be some what […]

Categories
christianity depression faith family personal religion

petitionary prayer and faith

as i have done for the past three years or so, i went to morning prayer today. and i wondered, why should any of the prayers we pray matter? why should god who created the universe care or help me to finish my semester at school or to have more wisdom? a few years ago, […]

Categories
christianity depression family personal religion top five

top five reasons 2008 is going to be great!

1. it’s not 2007! 2007 was a hard year for me. i was in and out of the hospital. i didn’t do well over all. i continued to gain weight. i kept getting triggered by by various things, even while watching the elf! 2. new community? i may take a break from my current church […]