Categories
depression family personal relationship

irony

even when things are going well, it’s possible to feel like nothing is going well.  and i know that it’s all a matter of perspective.  well, i’m having problems with the perspective thing.  i’m feeling sad, inadequate, and lots of guilt.  sure enough i have a medical condition, i need help of others at times […]

Categories
depression personal

anniversary

today is a hard day.  one of those days when you wish you could just get to tomorrow as soon as possible.  the past does not dictate the future.  but it sure can contaminate it! i haven’t felt suicidal in about 2 months, but still have overdosed once in the past month.  i’m not sure […]

Categories
depression personal

changes, big changes

i haven’t updated in so long.  it’s hard to know where to even start.  when i don’t update for a while, i feel like there is so much to say i just don’t know where to start. the biggest news of this year is that for the first time since spring of 2002, i have […]

Categories
depression family god personal

i’m still here: last will, burial site, funeral homes

i haven’t written a post in a long long time. i suppose things are okay. i’m still breathing. what else is new? couple weeks ago, after coming back from california, the entire week i had difficulty breathing, mainly due to anxiety i think. then on the thursday of that week, i felt so so sad […]

Categories
christianity depression faith personal religion

accidental overdose

i was putting off blogging so that i wouldn’t have to process all that happened in the past week.  well, now it’s time to process.  and i process best by writing.  so  you see how this blog is practically necessary for me. after i wrote the last blog last wednesday night, sometime after that and […]