Categories
christianity god personal

be still my soul

“be still my soul: the Lord is on your side; bear patiently the cross of grief or pain; leave to your God to order and provide, in every change he faithful will remain. be still my soul: your best, your heav’nly friend, thru thorny ways, leads to a joyful end.” i was having a hard […]

Categories
depression personal

wishes wishes wishes

i wish i could stay in the air just floating.  i don’t want to feel anything because feelings might be bad and unbearable.  i just want to sleep or somehow be awake without feeling or being aware of feelings.  yes.  yes. as i am alone in the house this week, i plan on sleeping as […]

Categories
depression personal

facebook replaces sleep

i couldn’t sleep all night.  it’s now 8:30 am, so i’m guessing i won’t be sleeping today.  so i was on the internet all night, well, practically all night.  i was mostly on facebook.  i used to wonder, gosh, what could people possibly do on facebook that could take so much time?  well, now i […]

Categories
christianity depression faith personal religion

yesterday

i felt so awful yesterday.  i felt physical pain as well as emotional distress.  i didn’t feel that i could move so i couldn’t go exercise as planned.  somehow i managed to go to group therapy.  during group i felt like i was floating, my attention was going in and out, and basically i think […]